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Tittle tattle about tits in Tatler

November 18, 2013

Breasts are hot news this week as Tatler’s feature on tits has caused a storm in a D-Cup*

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Has Tatler made a tit of itself?

Feminists far and wide gasped as the magazine decided to devote a double-d paged spread to the top 34 racks in high society. They called it Titler.

One such feminist was chit lit author, Louise Mensch, who’s Tweeting Tits were among the line up. She was not flattered: “please don’t edit magazines drunk #feminism” and renamed it “Pratler”.

The Sun referred to it as a “sexist row” (pot calling kettle) and the Daily Mail called it “misogynistic” (while managing to use it as an excuse to run yet another article full of celebrity pictures.)

As a faithful feminist myself I can see why people are complaining. The Facebook group No to Titler at Tatler has branded it demeaning and degrading. To some extent, I agree. There is something slightly sickening about the blatant objectification of these women. And I really dislike the word TITS**.

But this is Tatler we’re talking about. This is a magazine that turns up to parties just to take pictures of pretty people with titles. It prints a joke on the spine of every issue and this month it has devoted eight pages to the cast of Made in Chelsea. I mean, please. We simply cannot take it seriously. As Victoria Coren, aka Bluestocking Tits, said “Tatler is a refreshingly mischievous magazine; if that’s stirred up a bit of public debate, then our culture sounds good and healthy to me!’

And what’s wrong with a little celebratory chest time in a feature that is tastefully done? Helen Mirren’s naked Theatrical Tits look totally fabulous and whoever came up with the name Creamy Tits for Nigella must have watched this. I hope they found it as funny as I did.

Yet tasteful or not, I like talking about boobs and anything that encourages that the better. Whether they are big, small or lopsided, boobs are always the first thing to enter the room. All men look at them; most women judge them. Not enough people talk about them.

My boobs are such gigantacans that I like to bring them into the conversation as soon as possible. It stops them from being the elephant-tits in the room.

As a result, I will do as Tatler says and “Behold! The most magnificent and marvelous breasts in all society”. It makes me sad mine don’t get a feature.

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Nigella and her freshly whipped bosoms

* Pun theft. I stole it from this brilliant article by Alexandra Jones in the Guardian.

**The word titties is different. In fact, I wanted to call this blog the Titty Committee, but my fellow authors were not so keen.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. May 7, 2013 4:16 pm

    I don’t know whether you guys considered “Thanks for the Mammaries,” but that’s absolute gold.

  2. May 7, 2013 4:17 pm

    “Boob or Bust” ?

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